Cuisine and Culture: Toasting
It was Thanksgiving. Plates were overflowing with food, wine glasses were full, everyone had just gotten seated. My father raised his wine glass, and the rest of us followed suit. Well, everyone except my niece who was two years old at the time and refused to pick up her little plastic cup, even though her father urged her to do so.
“Thank you all for being here. It means so much to me, to us,” my father said, gesturing at my mother.
“To family,” he finished.
“To family,” we echoed, and everyone clinked glasses before taking a sip.
My niece watched in horror, then burst into a rage of tears and yowling. The only thing worse than being involved in the toast, it seemed, was not being involved. We were each obliged to then clink our glasses with hers, until she calmed down. I do believe that was the day she learned the word “Cheers.”
Cuisine and Culture
Food is an enormously important part of any culture of people who need to eat. There will probably be an extensive series of posts on food as I go, but I thought I’d start with toasting.
Because, think about it. What an odd tradition—we say words that are often formulaic, we (often) touch our drinkware together, then we drink at the same time. Usually alcohol. We do this to bring good luck, to celebrate, or to remember. It binds us together for a moment (imagine being the one person who doesn’t participate in a toast), and there’s often a certain formality or at least a structure. Cultures have all sorts of variations on toasts and the etiquette around them, some very explicit and some unspoken.
For instance, my father almost always leads the toasts at my family’s house. What does implicitly that tell you about him and us and our relationships?
Communities or sub-cultures may have their own traditions (navies are famous for this). In some cases, not drinking (or not drinking the right amount) is considered to at least be in poor taste or, at worst likely to insult someone or bring bad luck.
Toasts and Gaming
If you’re like me, you’ve probably invented a cuisine or two for your roleplaying worlds.
No? Okay, well, something to work on.
Either way, chances are your cultures has drinks and has some traditions of raising glasses together. I recommend taking a little time and thinking about what those traditions might be. They may tell you a lot about your culture, or at least a little bit that might come in handy some day. It can also make for great playing sessions if you can get your players to play along while you’re gaming!
When I first started developing the cuisine for Maezam, I stumbled onto the idea of considering what Maezami toasts look like. Maezem, if you’ll remember, is a high-context culture (ßlink). The people there say a lot of things without saying anything, and that pattern holds true for toasting culture. They are also a fairly formal culture. All of which is to say that there are specific toasts that must happen in the course of a gathering (whether formal or just between friends at a bar), and there are a lot of subtleties involves. If you misstep, jump on the wrong toast, drink the wrong amount at the wrong time, or are caught not paying attention, everyone is going to notice. And judge.
They’re judgy, the Maezamis.
Alright, so what’s the deal with these toasts?
There are five. They must always occur in this order:
“To god.” Maezem was historically a monotheistic theocracy, so praising their god was key. This toast is always given by the host of the event and is given silently. No one can drink before this toast or between this toast and the next one (with one exception, below). A good host will get it done early. If the event is friends meeting at a bar, whoever initiated the meeting is the host. If that’s not clear (perhaps because it’s a routine event), the person who calls out this toast first is the host, pays for the meal/drinks, and earns the honor of being the most hospitable. With the rise of a second major god in Maezam, it’s not clear how this toast will change. A sip is sufficient.
“To us.” This toast Is given by the featured guest. Sometimes this guest is obvious (such as birthdays), but when it is not, the host will give a small gesture to a selected guest to indicate they have been honored. Someone who is not the featured guest can steal this honor by jumping in moments before the intended guest, but only if they are able to get in a witty comment that chides but does not offend either the intended guest or host. Succeeding in getting a laugh will win that person widespread approval, but trying can be dangerous, because an attempt that falls flat is a major social faux pas. A sip is sufficient, but the crowd can now drink freely.
“To love.” This romantic toast is given by the youngest at the table and requires that everyone at the table finish their current glass, whatever they may be drinking or how much they have. A clever youngster can use this to ensure that their friends or enemies have quite a lot or very little to drink, either of which can be considered in poor taste. Being caught out with nothing in your glass when this toast is called will lose you social grace, so everyone watches their glasses and the youngest quite closely when it’s time for this toast. Discussing age is not considered problematic in Maezam, so it is usually clear who the youngest is, but if not, diners make their best guess or someone brazenly jumps in.
“To those who have gone before.” The oldest person at the gathering gives this toast, and it is a nod to the forebears who have begun to carve the path to the future. Maezamis, though respectful of their history, are a forward-thinking people, always looking ahead. Hence this is the toast rather than “those who have come before,” as it indicates a future-facing perspective rather than a more conservative, historical one. For this toast, everyone must drink for as long as the toaster does, regardless of how much they have in their glass. The eldest usually have less to prove than their younger tablemates and so are often kinder in their timing of when they toast and for how long. Or perhaps they are just so subtle that the messages they are passing are all-but-invisible to anyone but the intended target.
For lovers who are out together, they may replace this toast with “To forever,” as a promise of their own love and follows directly on from “To love.”
“Flood!” Maezam is an arid country, so the rainy season often brings floods as the earth can’t absorb all the water. Once long ago, a flood like no other hit the north of the country. It destroyed homes and temples, it took untold numbers of lives, and the devastation was vast. In the midst of the high waters, so the stories say, sat an old drunk, cursing and shouting at the torrent, staring at this empty hand that had just lost its bottle as he was swept up in the churn. As he drowned, he yelled, “Damn Flood, you stole my rum!” Every Maezami knows this story. Whether true or apocryphal, it represents the humorous turn, the absurdity present even in the face of calamity. So at every major Maezami meal, in addition to the other drinks, every guest is given a small vial of rum. At any point after the first toast is called, if there is a moment where the table has gone too melancholy or serious, or if someone has just done something embarrassing like spill a drink on themselves, this toast can be called out and everyone will shoot their rum. Anyone can make it and if timed well, it will evoke a gale of laughter and much acclaim for the toaster. If done poorly, it will earn polity laughter, pity, and possibly scorn. It can only be called once per meal. This one is perhaps the most confusing for foreigners who usually do not see the humor in the joke. “Flood!” is also now a general toast that is often called out in everyday life to break tension.
So the toasting traditions can tell us a lot about Maezami culture. They are future-oriented, they value hospitality, they respect cleverness and wit, and they have an appreciation of the absurd. They also really like their rum.
Inspiration
So, are you now tempted to have some toasts in your own roleplaying world? Need some inspiration beyond the above? Perhaps look to South Korean drinking culture, where there are rules about who pours for whom and who has to turn to the side while drinking. Perhaps consider many European traditions where toasting with water is said to earn them seven years of bad sex. Or look to naval traditions. There are a wide range of options to consider!
But for the next level of inspiration, check out Georgian toasting tradition. For major meals and celebrations, there is a designated toastmaster who is responsible for leading diners through a series of toasts. Some are fairly standard, but some will often come with stories to illustrate the toast. The toastmaster can also designate other people to give toasts, making them sort of a master of ceremonies. A toastmaster should be humorous, tasteful, witty, and thoughtful. For every toast, the toastmaster is expected to down their entire glass of wine, but it’s considered shameful to get wildly drunk, so it’s a complicated and expert role.
If that’s not cultural inspiration, I don’t know what is.
Does your world have toasting traditions? Or do you have new ideas or questions? Comment below and tell us all about it!
